6 Ways Growing Up Working Class Changes Your Outlook
8 minute read.
The Working Class
I found my niche a few months ago while planning the transition into my own private practice: professional millennials from working class backgrounds.
While diving into what the needs and wants of this specific group may be, I had the opportunity to consider what unique challenges these young professionals have faced. I put together this list of considerations for when working with someone who has ever been a member of the working class. While this piece is meant to be education, it can offer validation to individuals struggling with changing socioeconomic status, as I did.
What Constitutes “Working Class”
Working class is traditionally one of the 5 popularized classes in American socioeconomics including: upper, upper-middle, middle, working, lower.
It includes people employed in manual, industrial work or the service industry. Historically, these jobs did not require a college degree, but thanks to degree inflation, more working class jobs do, despite the degree not being necessary.
Some examples of working class jobs that we see everyday: waitstaff, cleaning service workers, customer service, construction, health aids, etc. This can also include traditionally blue, white and “pink collared” jobs.
Everyone is Working Class
These groups have changed drastically over the past 20 years. As the middle class continues to disappear, wages remain stagnant, and millennials and Gen Zers hold copious amounts of debt which keeps them from owning anything or growing their wealth.
Almost all professional jobs are now technically “working class.“
While reading this piece, please bear in mind the challenges that intersecting identities can bring on already struggling families. I encourage you to be open minded and curious.
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1. Family support looks different.
For working class parents, love and support looks different than that of the higher socioeconomic classes. Not surprisingly, working class parents are always working, and when they aren’t, they are bustling around the home completing needed tasks, or resting.
They may work physically or emotionally demanding jobs that require rest at the end of the day, or checking out at the end of their day. More likely than not, working class parents hold jobs that pay minimum wage, are gratuity based and/or offer little to no benefits.
These individuals rarely have time or energy to go above and beyond to get on their kids about completing homework, keeping up with their social calendar or being involved in their kids’ social lives.
These parents often have no choice but to trust that their children will be diligent in checking off daily to-dos, and when they don’t, discipline will occur. This process is necessary, as responsibility is not a skill working class parents teach their children for the sole purpose of making them better people. It is a means of survival.
Someone from an upper-middle class or elite class family may pass judgment on this parenting style. In fact, there are well documented trends in parenting of wealthier, often white, parents openly denouncing the parenting styles of their working class peers, especially if they are people of color.
This behavior is white supremacist by nature, as working class parents are given the message that they are not parenting the “right“ way. All while the more privileged individuals refuse to acknowledge that their own lifestyle benefits from this oppression (bosses paying low wages, voting for legislation that oppresses the impoverished and working class, police protecting affluent, white neighborhoods and over policing poor, black neighborhoods, etc.).
It is important to understand that oftentimes, support from working class parents comes in a form much different than the doting or hovering of an upper class parent. It presents as trust and confidence.
They simply don’t have time for it much more. Though it is no fault of their own, working class parents are often labeled as “less hands on,” “not interested in being involved,” or even “neglectful.”
2. Limited experience with enjoying add-ons.
I had a thought when walking through a park with a friend from a similar socioeconomic background. I asked her if she wanted to ride the paddle boats, to which she hesitantly responded yes, explaining that she is not a great swimmer.
Despite us both achieving a semblance of financial security at this point in our lives, I still felt that her hesitation was due to her not wanting to pay. This drew a startling connection for me between free activities and “add-ons” which include activities that are offered in public settings that come with a price tag.
Maybe you have a day at the beach full of sun and sand but you can’t go to the theme park. Maybe you get to go to the movies but your snacks are limited to what you could sneak into the theater from home. Maybe you have a park day but don’t get to go on the paddle boats.
The point is, you have experiences and make great memories, but you also know that these add-ons are out of reach for you. This can be internalized for years to come (obviously) and if not addressed, could lead to longstanding issues with spending, making important purchases and feeling financially secure.
3. Sacrificing comfort in one area for pleasure in another.
It is a practice that is regularly misunderstood, judged and even regulated by elites and politicians. The old, “You can buy that but you can’t pay for this?” It is a widely accepted form of oppression that our culture feels it has the right to police how working class individuals spend their money. (A similar, if not more insidious, regulation is put on impoverished individuals who need to be on government assistance for a period of time.)
Misjudgment notwithstanding, this sacrifice can come in many forms. Maybe your family doesn't have electricity for a few days but you are able to take a vacation for the first time in 5 years later that summer. Maybe you got brand new basketball shoes but those are the only shoes you will wear on your feet until next year. Maybe you are able to go to camp every summer but your wardrobe consists of hand-me-downs.
See where I’m heading with this? Pleasure and experiences often are accessible when coupled with temporary sacrifice in another area.
4. Work.
The big one. By this, I do not mean the job where you work. I mean the work you do every day - what you complete, what you produce, what you struggle with. Whether you end up a working class job, a professional career or something in the middle, the expectations learned by an individual who grew up in a working class environment are set early on.
You are supposed to work. This gives you value, self-worth and worth seen by others. Those who choose not to work have something wrong with them: they are freeloaders, lazy, and should receive our judgement. (We see this in the judgement and harsh regulation of disability services, especially those with invisible disabilities. Helping my clients with disabilities through the process of obtaining disability services have been horrifying, infuriating experiences.)
This mindset is not the fault of the working class, but of a capitalist society that needs labor jobs done with minimal cost, keeping lifestyles of the few elites comfortable (more on this later). The idea that it is our job to work hard is internalized slowly, bringing about the sense of duty.
Because working class jobs pay much less than professional jobs and are more physically demanding, daily physical exhaustion is expected and normalized. Now, there is nothing wrong with a job that is physically demanding.
The problem arises when individuals feel that if they are not pushed to the brink of physical collapse every day, do not take every extra shift, an extra job, overtime, then they are without value.
If individuals with working class jobs are not convinced that lack of physical exhaustion equals a day not worked hard enough, many are convinced when their paychecks barely cover bills and other “luxuries” like healthcare, time off and basic necessities.
We are hearing it a lot these days (June 2021), as many workers are opting to use unemployment benefits instead of returning to work: “Nobody wants to work.” “Our country is going to be in debt because of this.” “This will come back to bite us.”
Reality check: something IS coming back to bite us, it is our culture’s refusal to invest in the working class, pay living wages, offer good benefits, normalize time off, offer hazard pay, and normalize mental health care, as the government invests trillions of dollars in wars overseas while our cities and rural areas suffer poverty, starvation and a chronic, disgusting lack of access to education and healthcare.
This is what happens when a government's actions make an entire economic class feel that they are expendable and that their work is not necessary or appreciated. Clearly, it is. Clearly, the working class is not expendable. Clearly, they need to be appreciated, be humanized, be valued.
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5. Internalized capitalism.
Let’s talk first about what exactly capitalism is: an economic and political system in which a country’s trade and industry are controlled by private owners for profit rather than by the state.
It includes private or corporate ownership of capital goods, investments that are determined by private decision and prices , production and distribution of goods determined by competition in a free market. It can cause inequality, market failure, damage to the environment, short-termism, excess materialism, etc.
How do we internalize it? Thinking that what we do is never enough. We base our value on how much we produce, how much work we complete, how much money we make, etc. We work constantly and without breaks or vacations, oftentimes leading to burnout while our relationships, health and even the quality of our work suffers. We experience guilt when we take time off, overworking to make up for it, or even working during our time off.
Ok, wow, what a bummer. How can we overcome it? By recognizing it and how it affects us. We can engage in therapy that is anti-capitalist/anti-oppressive in its approach. We can learn how to set personal and professional boundaries, and stick with them.
If at all possible, working for a company that values work/life balance in their culture is a plus. We can also find worth in other areas (relationships, hobbies, routine, spirituality, etc.).
6. Leisure, hobbies, down time.
This section will be an amalgamation of the above topics. It is hard for someone from a working class background to take time for themselves without accompanying guilt, either that they are letting their employer/coworkers down, or that they are becoming “lazy,” which as stated above, causes us to be “othered” by those in our community.
Think about it, have you ever pressured a friend or family member to “make some money” off of their hobby that gives them joy? Even if they don’t need the money? Now, this is tricky, because while passive income is beneficial, when it isn’t needed, it can take away from the pleasure of an activity.
Good news! With work (unironically) and repetition, one can learn how to engage in relaxing, pleasurable activities without the pang of guilt. Eventually learning to look forward to them!
Class Consciousness
As you move towards class consciousness, or an new understanding of how your social and economic class is regarded and what your needs are, I urge you to be curious and gentle with yourself. This stuff is hard.
As more and more Americans are coming to terms with the injustice and exploitation that the working class suffers at the hands of managers, bosses and supervisors, they are wondering what the alternative is.
If you are looking to heal from internalized capitalism, searching for words to put towards the pain and abuse you’ve suffered, community and healing is the answer.
If you live in Pennsylvania, I offer online therapy for those looking to liberate themselves from class structure and oppression. Book a free consultation today.
Thank you for reading!
Email contact@teletherapywithsarah.com with questions/comments/concerns.
I provide therapy to professional millennials from working class backgrounds. I coach “Exploited Therapists” or therapists who have been exploited by managers, bosses and supervisors. I help them build their dream private practices.
Teletherapy in all corners of Pennsylvania from Philadelphia to Scranton to Erie to Pittsburgh.
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Ready to get started? Click here, or reach out to contact@teletherapywithsarah.com for a free 20 minute consultation.
I do not work through insurance, but I provide superbills for EMDR therapy sessions and regular therapy sessions. Learn about getting reimbursement from your insurance provider here.
Very Best,
—Sarah (she/her)
*Disclaimer - This piece was written by a straight, cis, non-disabled, white woman. Intersectionality (coined by lawyer, civil rights advocate, scholar and philosopher Kimberlé Crenshaw) tells us that race, ethnicity, class, sexuality, gender, etc. that differ from the above identifiers encounter hardship and oppression at a much higher rate.*
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