Fostering Allyship with White Clients as a White Therapist - Part 1
7 minute read.
This piece specifically addresses allyship for white individuals, racism and subsequent oppression that occurs for BI&POC in America.
2020.
After the uprisings of 2020 and heavily publicized murders of black Americans by police, many individuals sought out therapy. This, coupled with living through the first 6 months of the COVID-19 pandemic, not surprisingly, lead to many returning to therapy, and more seeking it out for the first time.
The field of psychology, like all American institutions, has a long history of racism, violence against marginalized groups, straight up ignoring the existence of racial trauma and inconsistency in meeting the needs of specific groups.
Thankfully, many black Americans were able to seek treatment from a therapist who looked like them and had training in treating the intricacies of racial trauma and simply living as a black person in our country. Platforms that addressed therapy for BI&POC that endorse inclusivity were utilized heavily. (Inclusive Therapists, Therapy for Black Girls, Black Female Therapists, The Loveland Foundation, National Queer + Trans Therapists of Color Network, Open Path Collective, Free Black Therapy)
Allyship
In my experience, many white individuals began seeking out treatment with the underlying goal of becoming a better ally.
Allyship has hit somewhat of a spike over the past 2 years, despite the concept’s existence for centuries. In a human rights and political sense, an ally is an individual or group that provides support and assistance for an individual or group that has less privilege.
Allyship is not an identity and it is hard. A big part of it is unlearning the tendency to be the loudest voice in the room, and knowing when to be quiet, listen and believe.
It takes constant work, learning and unlearning. After this piece is posted, it is likely that I will learn new ways to be a better ally within the week. The regular growth and change can be intimidating, but it can also be exhilarating, because of the type of closeness and emotional intimacy that comes with trust and empathy. Also, the work you do become an ally pales in comparison to living as a BI&POC in America.
It’s important to recognize that being an ally is to be in a position of privilege. Thus, with the label of ally, you must be mindful of the power you wield.
Many white allies fall into the trap of offering help that is rooted in supremacy and colonialism. Some examples of this include thinking you have answers that someone hasn’t thought of yet; judging emotional/trauma responses of those in pain; deep seeded reverence of privileged groups leading to automatic suspicion of someone’s experience - “Are you sure it happened that way?“
Implicit Bias + Adopting Supremacist Ideologies.
Implicit bias, or a form of bias that occurs automatically and unintentionally, that nevertheless affects judgments, decisions, and behaviors, is unconscious racism. It can oppress and it can cause violence. Everyone has implicit bias. Therefore, everyone has racist bias.
To grow up in America, to absorb our media, to live and work in our institutions, is to be racist. It is impossible to grow up in America’s colonized, capitalist culture and come out the other end without racist beliefs and behaviors. Our schools, our healthcare systems, law enforcement and political systems, to name a few, are innately oppressive to historically marginalized groups.
In his book, You Mean There’s Race in My Movie?, Dr. F.W. Gooding Jr. defines the protective stereotype as “an exaggerated image of bigotry or racial hatred that allows common white audience members to distance themselves from such abnormal and obvious displays of antisocial behavior.” This gives the typical white American an excuse to not address their own racism, because they are not as bad as actual members of the KKK or the Nazi party.
Please remember that hate groups are the minority when it comes to racism in this country. The majority presents as groups and individuals that benefit from institutionalized racism. Individuals that absorb, without questioning, racist ideologies, accepting them as factual and infallible.
These are individuals that believe they are not racist because they do not use that word, and feel it is OK to make racist comments based on harmful stereotypes because, “Come on, it’s true.”
They are people whose statements make their BI&POC friends, neighbors and coworkers uncomfortable and even afraid, deluding themselves by saying, “You’re not like them, you’re one of the good ones.” The “you’re pretty for a --” or the casual mocking of African American Vernacular English.
They are also individuals who call themselves allies but when it comes to standing up to openly racist friends/family, or speaking up in the boardroom, they say nothing. It is being silent on social media when a police officer murders a black person while continuing to post vacation pictures.
It is me or you making comments about things we know little about, and becoming defensive when we are corrected.
If you are still reading, thank you for challenging yourself.
Thankfully, many clients dealing with implicit bias and ignorance seek out learning opportunities and are grateful for the new wealth of knowledge.
Supremacy is different. Clients not always seek help for their supremacy, even though it likely causes an “unexplained” pattern of mental health issues. In her 1979 book Drama of the Gifted Child, Alice Miller states, “Nationalism, racism, and fascism are in fact nothing other than ideological guises of the flight from painful, unconscious memories of endured contempt into dangerous, destructive disrespect for human life, glorified as a political program.” Attachment, attachment, attachment.
Implicit bias can be identified and unlearned with continual work, ignorance can be addressed by offering education, statistics and corrections. Both have supremacist roots. Supremacy is the belief that one is better than others because of the group they are a member of.
How can you foster allyship for in the face of implicit bias?
1. Tell clients you are anti-racist during their initial consultation.
Tell potential clients that your therapeutic approach is political in nature and that their implicit biases will be challenged. Most therapists let clients know their rate of service, cancellation policy and availability during the consultation, so there are no surprises down the line.
It is also a good idea to let clients know that your work is affirming and inclusive at it’s core, and that you believe in a close connection between mental wellness/insight and empathy for others.
2. Resist judgment, offer corrections.
Remember, racism is taught. This means it needs to be unlearned, and a lot of that unlearning will be happening in your sessions. Clients come to us vulnerable and hurting. This is not a time to pass judgment and label them, but to challenge them.
Mindfully but firmly offering corrections is to their benefit. If they truly desire growth, they will trust that you’ll hold them accountable, and will stay in treatment with you longer.
3. Identify supremacist thinking blocks.
You may notice that despite offering corrections and education, your client still holds oppressive beliefs. I urge you to look for patterns beyond the harmful belief.
What does this belief say about how the client views themselves? How do they view victims? How do they think about themselves as a victim of their own trauma? Identify the patterns and work with them.
Thank you for reading!
Email contact@teletherapywithsarah.com with questions/comments/concerns.
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Very Best,
—Sarah (she/her)
*Disclaimer - This piece was written by a straight, cis, able-bodied, white woman. Intersectionality (coined by lawyer, civil rights advocate, scholar and philosopher Kimberlé Crenshaw) tells us that ethnicity, class, sexuality and gender that differ from the above identifiers encounter more hardship and oppression.*
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